Well, I liked it. I only said the thing about Belarus to be Lovecraftian.
I can make out two words. Two abominable words. Two words bringing horror from beyond the stars. They're saying...
They're-- they're speaking, they're speaking like humans, but it's all distorted and horrible, ooh, god, ooh, no, they have a french accent!
What are they saying? I can barely comprehend the words, something about sleeping forever in the depths... No wait!
Ooh, no, they've pinned me down. There's one on each ankle, one on each wrist, one on my chest and one on my... well, I can't say it in polite company. It's on my penis, one is on my penis.
They're starting to pull...
Aah! They're pulling me into the creek! They're pulling me down into the depths of a rather shallow creek! Tell my children I never like Belarus! AAAaaaaahhhhhh...
Eww, they're on my shoes, they're dribbling their ink all over it.
Yuck, now they're crawling all over my body and getting my shirt all inky.
I poked one with a stick and now they're all staring it me. They have like weird giant bug eyes instead of... whatever a squid usually has. Maybe these are the eyes a squid usually has? I can't say I've ever looked into a squid's enchanting eyes before.
Ugh. They're making a terrible, annoying noise. Like part cricket, part croaking frog, part drunken belch.
That's it, I'm going down there to scare them off so they shut up.
Hey, look, it's got a little friend. There's a whole squid family crawling across the driveway now.
These things are not used to walking, let me tell you, like a bunch of eight legged little Charlie Chaplins.
You know, it's hard to describe, but there's something weird about this little squid fella's head. It looks round, but... not? It's all wrong somehow.
Ooh, it's a chameleon squid! It's crawling out of the creek and taking on the colour of the grass.
Well, actually an 80's synthwave cover of it.