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If you click the remember me checkbox on a site you will never truly die until its servers are gone.

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Technocracy doesn't work because you're not governing spherical cows, you're governing a theme park filled with cloned dinosaurs.

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You know what's an isekai that people don't think of as an isekai? The first Super Mario Bros. game.

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Listen, you guys, the reason why we have a representative democracy instead of some collectivist commune is because if you try you'll quickly realize people will tolerate anything even a dictatorship over a bunch of fucking meetings.

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I sold my soul to Disney. Which is not too bad actually, because it will take ages before it becomes public domain and the devil can claim it.

Apple's weather app won't show you 69Β°F? Not nice, Apple. Not nice.

Why do they always make tickets on this stuff when the people who can best handle it are out?

"Can't you just leave these donkeys alone?"

"Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just rake the mules."

Yugh, moldy fruit already, wasn't this delivered on Monday? This fruit-at-work service isn't always the best.

There should be a max cap on the amount of people in a whatsapp group where it is considered acceptable for /every/ /single/ /person/ to wish someone a happy birthday. It's too many!

Very bad 

I wanna watch a movie, maybe something patriotic for the national holiday, maybe that Noah movie about the flood?

Man, I didn't have my daily 1.5+ liter coke zero and I'm so tired, maybe it's time to cut down a little.

"Twitch streamer permanently banned from New World MMO after milking a cow"

This is what facism looks like, folks.

Notepad++'s new dark mode + the Dracula theme = *chef's kiss*

Why doesn't Ben & Jerry's have a Gin & Berries ice cream?

My like sternum or something keeps going 'crack', I mean not crack crack, but you know crack like when you crack your fingers or your back, I've never had it do that before, but it's been a couple of days now where occasionally when I stretch something in my chest goes crack.

I thought One-Punch Man was about a guy who loves drinking punch, but will only have one glass because he doesn't want to get too drunk.

"Please check 'I am not a robot'"

*check*

"Please stare into your webcam and answer the following question:

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping...

Who decided to make .cam a TLD, that's just asking for trouble.

If I were to run a literary magazine it'd be called Lingua Franca and feature English language short stories written by non-native speakers not living in an English speaking country.

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social.thiskurt

This is my personal mastodon instance. For now at least. Can I suggest you make an account over at ping.the-planet instead?