Show older

#267, or #526, 2015's "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."

All I remember ever thinking about this one at the time is "what, another spy movie?" but now I also think "I can't remember if that's the guy who's a cannibal."

#268, or #527, 2021 Netflix Original "Afterlife of the Party," which definitely feels like it exists only because the Algorithm stumbled onto the title.

#269, or #528, from the director of those Batman movies people largely dislike, 1999 Cage picture "8MM," which I think is about Cage as a detective investigating the veracity of a snuff film?

#270, or #529, leaving now to go see, because you know, why not, apparently I'll go see pretty much anything if it's a classic rerelease, 1989's "Driving Miss Daisy."

me: "I should reintroduce some randomness into what I watch, let's roll some dice."

the dice: "You're watching 2013 Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Google comedy "The Internship.""

me: "Curses."

(#271, or #530 since I started counting.)

#272, or #531 since I started counting, I'm about to get to a run of these where I've actually heard of a bunch of them, but not just yet, it's 1938 Best Picture nominee "Test Pilot," with Clark Gable, Myrna Loy, and Spencer Tracy.

#273, or #532 since I started counting, 1984's "Dune."

Leaving in a bit for #274, or #533 since I started counting, I reserved for this one at a moment when I did not remember I had an 8.50am dentist appointment today, 2021 historical picture "Eiffel."

Leaving in a bit for #275, or #534 since I started counting, 2021's "Dune."

In the category of, people are talking about it, Alex is easily people-pressured, even though Alex is not a horror person much, #276, or #535, 2021's "Malignant."

Leaving now to go see #277, or #356, 2021's "Queenpins."

M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 continues with a hard pivot from uncredited rewrites on a teen romcom to #278, or #537, "The Sixth Sense."

#279, or #538, we nineteen-ninety-nine ever onwards, it's 1999's "The Matrix."

#280, or #539, 1999's "Bringing Out the Dead."

I'm not a big Scorsese person -- none of what I've seen I've found particularly compelling, but I also haven't seen the big ones -- but it'll be interesting to see how he uses Cage.

#281, or #539, M Night Shyamalan's 1999 takes one last U-turn, because he's one of two credited writers on this one, it's 1999's "Stuart Little."

#282, or #541, leaving the last millennium behind, it's 2000's "Gone in Sixty Seconds," which I understand is about Cage having to steal 50 cars in one night to save his brother's life. Terrific.

#283, or #542, "Chris Pratt as Mario" and "RTD is back" have both happened since the last time I watched a movie, so let's do another emotional rollercoaster, it's 1997 robot anime recap movie "Neon Genesis Evangelion: Death."

#284, or #543, it's 2000's "Unbreakable."

Not sure what this one's about, I think it's M Night's comic book-y one? Presumably not ghosts again.

#285, or #544, it's 1997's "The End of Evangelion," which I reckon probably has more of the robot fights the preview for episode 25 promised, but which I reckon is probably also still Pretty Fucked Up.

You know how the vast majority of the Best Picture nominees are
movies global culture has seemingly totally forgotten about, and then every now and then there's one people still watch, like, and talk about?

#286, or #545, it's 1938's "The Adventures of Robin Hood."

I'm pretty sure the first time I booked a ticket for this one was before I was even counting movies. End of an odd, odd era, in a way.

Leaving now to go see #287, or #546, 2021's "No Time to Die."

#288, or #547, Cage's career barrels ever forwards, it's 2000's "The Family Man," which I don't know anything about.

It's October, so I've just hit play on the first horror movie on Netflix that didn't look like like a sack of shit with a turd on top, it's #289, or #548, 2019's "Escape Room."

Might as well plow on, #290, or #549, it's 2021's "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions."

hold on, this is almost just American Squid Game

i will not elaborate

no, that comparison doesn't quite work

i will again not elaborate

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I described the first one as "kinda stupid but I enjoyed it," or something to that effect, but that's kinda what all the horror movies I like are, so I need to find better ways of talking about horror movies, I reckon.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

me, every time these characters close a door: "they're already in the escape room"

me, when they open it again: "the next door for sure"

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

oh. ... nah this is going too fast, it's a dream

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"Looks like Minos went out of business."

or that's what they've dressed their building up as exactly like they did at the end of the last one, come on man

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

this subway station full of people

totally part of the escape room, I know it

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

no but the TRAIN IS

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"Looks like we're in an abandoned station."
"You're shitting, right?"

that's my secret cap
i'm always shitting

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I always go "at what point in the movie am I dead" and, look, what kills me here is the part where there's puzzles.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

Some real Gallifreyan Death Zone tower shit going on here.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"You know, my dad found a silver dollar with one of those [metal detectors] once. It was worth a dollar."

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I feel like this one, uhh, enjoys showing you its young women characters suffering notably more than the first one did

though the first one also had fewer women in it

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

A good thing happening? A trick for sure.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

well okay the movie is over but i'm not convinced


🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@Alexis Is the movie over or are the credits just part of the escape room? Maybe mastodon is the escape room?

· · Web · 1 · 0 · 0

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@kurt I may never get out of my bathroom.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@Alexis Is this your way of saying Mastodon is a shithouse?

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@kurt :beepboopone: is just a little satellite, I've gotta do my business somewhere.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@Alexis I'll never look at space debris the same way.

Sign in to participate in the conversation

This is my personal mastodon instance. For now at least. Can I suggest you make an account over at ping.the-planet instead?